We've all been there. You meet a new client or colleague and exchange basic pleasantries, but once the basic information has been covered, the awkward silence ensues and you're struggling to fill it up with small talk. An uncomfortable room can be avoided altogether with a couple of small changes to the way you ask questions. The biggest mistake most people make is asking questions that require definitive "yes" and "no" answers or simple responses and not allowing conversation to flow beyond that.
Sources and Further Reading http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/08/better-small-talk-weather-boring_n_5656105.html http://ideas.ted.com/how-to-turn-small-talk-into-smart-conversation/ http://conversation-skills-core.com/questions-boost-conversation
How are you?
"How are you?" has become such a regular part of our greetings that it's hardly a question anymore. Most of us respond with "fine" whether or not it's the truth. Change this question slightly to show a genuine interest in your conversation partner. Ask, "Have you had a good week so far?" or "How was your weekend?" to show that your interest is genuine.What do you do for a living?
The answer to this question requires a very brief answer and won't drive the conversation ahead. Instead, try "How did you get into your line of work?" or "How do you spend most of your time?" Phrasing the questions this way does more than just give you an extended answer. It also places the focus of your question on the person rather than the occupation.Where are you from? Where did you grow up?
Again, this question needs just a one word answer. Vary the question by asking, "Have you lived here long?" Though the corresponding answer may still be a short one, chances are you'll get more information than the alternatives. When you've got your answer, continue with prompts like, "Tell me about your hometown," or asking about their experiences growing up locally to keep your conversation partner talking.Nice weather we're having, isn't it?
Weather questions are such a small talk cliche! However, you can still use the weather to generate good conversation. Once again, you'll want to turn the focus toward your client or colleague instead of the subject at hand. Instead of putting the weather at the center of your question, ask "Do you enjoy this kind of weather?" or "What do you do when it's pouring like this?" The biggest changes to implement in these and other questions are to (a) makes sure that questions are open ended, requiring more than a yes/no response or short answer, and (b) put the focus on the person rather than the subject of the question. Use the responses you get as inspiration for your follow up questions and the conversation will be flowing naturally!Sources and Further Reading http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/08/better-small-talk-weather-boring_n_5656105.html http://ideas.ted.com/how-to-turn-small-talk-into-smart-conversation/ http://conversation-skills-core.com/questions-boost-conversation